Forum Posts

Losha
Apr 24, 2021
In My Story
Thanks for sharing. I am 54 years old and the middle child of two brothers. My dad was a chronic alcoholic and my parents married at 19 and 21. My mom provided us with necessities but never spoke of alcoholism. In college, my dad fell down our stairs and could have bled to death. My mom called 911 after talking to my older brother and filed for divorce afterward. I was side blinded and never connected that my dad was a chronic alcoholic. My memories had been suppressed. My dad had been in at least 10 different treatment centers during my child hood. I would come home after school and he was passed out on the kitchen floor. I remember going to my aunts for the weekend or my grandparents for a week but was never told why. One of my college roommates had a mother who who a chronic alcoholic and I started going to ADOC ( Adult children of Alcoholics) with her. Awakening begun! Once I begun my career in the legal field, I met paralegals and continued ACOA classes with a client friend. The ACOA meetings included professionals - I was shocked and continued my healing. However, I married an addict and divorced after 17 years. During my broken marriage, we attended marriage counseling and I re woke to my past and connected that I married an addict. But together, our lives brought 2 beautiful daughters, they have been the center of my life. During my divorce, I was given the BEST ADIVCE as I sat in church, next to neighbor. She said, " I have been through hardship and you need to prioritize. First, God. Second, Rhonda (me). Third, my girls who were 13 and 11. Because God will take care of me and I need to take care of me to take care of my girls.. I have been divorced for 10 years and focused on my girls. Sydney graduated from ISU in May 2020 and Lillie will graduate Dec 2021. I am very proud and feeling confident in my choices and role modeling. God Bless! I am grateful for finding you!
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Losha
Apr 06, 2021
In My Story
Thank you very much Losha for creating a platform where we can connect with each other, no matter where we live on this planet. I believe that it is important that we are able to share our journey in life, because to be honest it can really feel lonely to go through our emotions. In 1986 after giving birth to our second daughter I went through the most terrifying nightmare (a Post Natal Depression) living in anxiety and depression for nearly 20 years. It could disappear for a period of time but somehow it would always return, and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. It was in a time that only a few people would stand by my side, and I actually could understand the point of view of others who couldn’t deal with my problems: ‘How on earth can you feel so miserable after giving birth to a child’? My life felt like a rollercoaster day and night and the emotions of guilt, grief, frustration etc were felt deeply but the most intense emotion was the feeling of shame. I was living two lives: ‘One side of me lived in this nightmare of surviving and the other side of me tried to cope with every day life 'as normal as possible''. I also knew that I needed to find my own way out of these circumstances because taking medication wasn’t an option for me. To make a very long story short, after nearly 20 years I totally recovered through Holistic Healing. Somewhere deep inside of me I always knew that hormones were the cause of all these terrible feelings but there is little known about the effects of a dysfunctional hormone system, and that it may feel that you are going completely crazy. I recovered with natural hormones, Bach Remedies and a lot of other essences and talking/writing about all the frustrations. I felt a lot of anger because it took me 20 years of my life to figure out what was really going on inside of me. On this journey I met beautiful people who were sincerely interested in me as a person. February 2020 a dear friend of mine died of lung cancer. A week later I became ill for seven weeks. I had pneumonia and I had to take 3 different types of antibiotics to recover from the infection. Unfortunately the last antibiotics triggered my hormones once again and it felt like hell once more. I was in shock that after many years of feeling great the nightmare returned. It took me nearly a year of healing (the same Holistic Healing) as before but I also had two sessions of distance healing with Illeana (Messages from a Star Traveler) to recover. When I digested these emotions again I learned via social media that many, many people went through their old traumas once more, but on a deeper level, diving deeper and deeper into their feelings. Knowing that many other people were going through their own painful experiences really helped me to try to accept these circumstances. I totally agree with the wise words of JFK through Losha, that every illness starts with emotions, and before we can go to the next level in life we need to heal these emotions and accept every part of our being and try to go to the root cause. When we are able to share our experiences on a platform, it may help us to accept ourselves because we can relate to the emotions each and every one of us seem to go through. It can also open our Hearts, eyes and minds to look at our problems from a different perspective and we may find different solutions. When you look at our individual life journeys, I really believe that every single human being is a hero!!! Every time we fall, we seem to get back on our feet because we hang on to our dear life. It also helped me to never use the word ‘setback’ when we seem to digest old emotions but actually we should see it as 'growing pains’. Each time we become more of ourselves, especially in the times we are in right now. In this moment of time we are expanding ourselves more than ever, creating a completely different life with the help of a very special Divine Plan. Does that mean that I always feel bliss? Oh no, I am still learning every single day! I hope that my story may help others, to let them know that we are such beautiful beings and we deserve to live a life in freedom, letting go of our mental/emotional/psychological and physical chains forever!!! Lia (I live in the Netherlands)
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Losha
Apr 04, 2021
In My Story
Wow...how does one start writing about their whole life? I will start out with a few “challenges” and then end it with some positives...so please don’t stop reading too early! Thanks (smile) Most of my childhood, my older sister and I just remember our Mom crying, most of the time. So, we both learned to “walk on eggshells”, and to not cause a scene at all. My sister dealt with it by becoming an “A+ student”...and she was! She wanted to “please” our parents, so they might feel better, I think. I handled it by becoming “invisible”...withdrawing from all that was around me. There is a strange picture of me when I was about 1 ½ years old...I had on some pajamas, and I was just sitting, cross-legged, in the “corner” of a room, with not much expression on my face...almost stone-faced. I always felt that was an “omen” of some kind. It turned out that the reason my Mom was crying all the time was because her parents had pulled her into their own marriage problems...and were pressuring my Mom (an only child) to take “sides” during their weekly “talks”. Looking back, it was an unconscionable thing to do to their child (Mom was about 28 at the time), and it ripped my Mom in two. She spent most of the rest of her life battling depression. Very sad. As a result, I grew up feeling neglected, craving attention whenever I was “sick” (it was pretty much the only time I received caring from my Mom), I hated conflict, and I didn’t like to “stand out” (even though I was very “sociable” by nature). That was the biggest “shaper” of who I became in this lifetime, until I began “remembering” some instances of sexual abuse, just in the last two years or so...the first incident happening when I was three years old. I have had some therapy to try and deal with it, however, I still don’t really remember any details. I DO know that I have lots of “triggers” though...such as being “probed”, “grabbed”, “penetrated”, “tickled”. Those words are real triggers for me, even now. I know though, that by working with Rocky, I will eventually be able to work through these yucky emotions and memories, and turn it all into a “motivator” possibly, to “remind” myself that “I AM Worthy”! I can’t wait for that day! The other big event in my life was a culmination of blows to the head, which finally resulted in a full-blown brain injury in September, 2002. I was a passenger in my boss’ car, and we were coming back from lunch. We were stopped at an intersection, and all of a sudden my boss looked in his rear view mirror, and said, “Oh, Sh#t”. For some reason I began to turn my head to the right and then we got hit...hard. I don’t think she even put the brakes on...no squealing sounds or skid marks. My boss later said that she was coming “like a bat out of hell”. Her car license plate was “imprinted” on the back bumper of my boss’ car. As happens with many rear-enders, I told my boss I was okay, even though I felt my neck make a sickening “crunching” sound. About two hours later, I took myself to Urgent Care...I wasn’t feeling right. Well, long story short, I wouldn’t wish what I have experienced since then, on my worst enemy. The hardest part was that everyone said I “looked fine”...but I was far from fine, inside. I wanted to wrap my head in a gauze bandage so others would know that all was “not right” with me. I was actually “grieving a death”...the death of the “old” me. A brain injury really challenges relationships. It challenges your feelings that you are “still smart”, even though you have trouble working with your “tools” properly to get to your smarts. I have wanted to be an advocate for folks with brain injuries. I have even sketched out a potential “book” to write about it. Now, for the good news! I will forever be “grateful” for my brain injury! Looking back, I had become very “busy” in my corporate job as a Contract Manager, and I was great at analyzing and evaluating issues. I was very “left brained” all the time. However, I wasn’t using my “right brain” much at all...and even I knew that there should be a better “balance” of the two areas, in one’s life. Soooo...after the accident, I became very right-brained, whether I wanted to be or not! I was unable to perform “executive functioning” tasks anymore, so I began to “listen” a little more, inside myself. I opened up to my “spiritual” side, and for that, I will be forever grateful. Now, I had always known that somehow, the “mystical” parts of life, were a big part of who I was, but I naturally repressed those, because many people, back in the 1970’s, did not accept it when you would tell them that you could “hear voices”! The other thing they thought was that you needed to be “locked away” somewhere, so I (again) learned to “stay quiet”! Well, after my accident, and up until about a year ago, I became a “reluctant channeler”. I knew I could help people to feel better by using my talents, but I wasn’t comfortable with it. Then, about three years ago, I felt a different “presence” altogether. I eventually determined that, for whatever reason, JFK was “calling” me! Well, that situation just didn’t compute with me...why would he be wanting to talk to me? Who am I? I am not even a very good channeler!...those were the thoughts going through my mind, as you can imagine. Well, as I have mentioned before, JFK can be very persistent. I tried to “ignore” him for a few months, but then I finally gave in and received his message (it turns out that I actually made an “agreement” with JFK to channel his messages in this lifetime). And, the rest, as they say, is history! That is how I got to this moment in my life...and, I will say without a doubt, that I literally had to be “hit on the head” to finally begin “becoming” who I truly AM...a wonderful person, a very good channeler, and one who loves to help others, in any way I can! That is me, in a nutshell, I think. Well, I hope I made enough sense here so you feel like you “know me” a bit better...and that my sharing of my challenging situations and emotions will cause you to feel less alone...because truly, with what I have “learned” from the “other side”, none of us, are ever alone! Please believe that! I send you all my Love...and I wish for you, Infinite Blessings! Losha.
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Losha
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